It’s difficult to be completely indifferent to how others see us. This is true for everyone, but for an autistic person, it’s what will make the difference between living and surviving.

We can’t live fully in this world that is created, valued and recognized by neurotypical people while at the same time seeking the approval of these people whose scales, referents and measures are made from this dominant model. The autistic person gives themselves a chance when they find that feeling of pride and accomplishment that all of us seek.

This is extremely difficult to do and can become a lonely, exhausting experience. In darker moments, there’s discouragement, weariness and anger that sets in through the misunderstanding of special needs that are often invisible.

It’s the impression of fighting in “flip-flops” while the rest of the world is wearing running shoes.

Admittedly, the weapons aren’t equal and because of that, the emergent emotions that are connected to it are more than valid. The efforts of autistic people fly completely under the radar because what’s not supposed to be demanding for the majority is deemed not to be an effort. We must be very careful not to fall into this evaluation of a situation viewed by people with neurotypical expectations.

This isn’t our assessment and it’s not the one that should be lurking in our inner voice.

We are enough, all of the time – even though we do better in individual conversations than in groups; even if the noise and the light hurt us; even if we’re silent because of stimuli; even if we talk too much, about too many things, and things that aren’t conventional.

It’s kindness that will let us enjoy the world as we want and need it. It’s the hope that kindness will be returned when we’re discouraged, that will help us look and participate in the world in our own way, as singular as it may be.

Nevertheless, we all need an outside perspective to come and expand our garden and make it grow as healthily as possible.

This is an autistic person walking the tightrope – maintaining social ties with significant people who have no idea of ​​the constant struggle and the need for distance, to give that empathy which is sorely lacking in the mega-modern world.

Let’s never forget that these social scales apply to everyone and that at one time or another, we’ve all worn ¨flip-flops¨ to face life.

Empathetically looking at oneself and others allows many to say that survival won’t be an option – living is, no matter what living means to you.

Gabriela Ovallé

Blogger