When our kids are feeling most overwhelmed, their emotions can really appear to be all over the place. Sadness, excitability, irritability, anxiety… you name it; they feel it. Making meaning of their behaviour can be challenging. Science helps us make sense of what’s going on inside our littlest one’s body and brain. A helpful tip can be to start seeing this behaviour as something that occurs due to stress overload instead of something due to defiance or a desire to make trouble. Equipped with empathy, we can better support our kids through moments of intense stress.
When a child goes into fight or flight mode, the body’s system for responding to stress, they respond instinctively using age-old strategies that have helped humans survive for a very, very long time. That can be helpful in moments of acute stress, in emergencies, and through trauma, but in moments of day-to-day stress, these responses can be overwhelming. Kids often lose touch with their senses, and this can increase anxiety. By coming back to those senses – sight, touch, smell, taste, and sound – kids can find some relief from their worries, can engage in restorative practice, and can build resilience with support over time. By soothing the amygdala, the part of our brain that engages in that fight or flight response, studies have shown via functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) that we can reduce anxiety, fear, and stress levels (Goyal et al., 2014; Lazar, 2018). That area of the brain actually diminishes over time when we engage in mindfulness-based stress reduction programs. With that knowledge in our back pocket, we can guide our kids in exploring their senses in mindful ways to bring focus to their breathing, the sounds in their environments, the sensations inside and outside of their body. This can help us all feel more grounded and soothed.
As with any strategy for soothing stress, each person has individual needs and preferences. Exploring a variety of sensory input can help identify what might feel soothing, calming, and what might ultimately reduce stress. Let’s explore five unique ways to soothe kids’ stress by using our five senses:
Sight:
The Hoberman sphere is a timeless classic and often a favourite with therapists, teachers, and parents alike. The geodesic dome, often referred to as a “breathing ball”, can expand and contract. Kids can watch an adult expand the sphere while deep breathing. The adult can set the rhythm for breathing by opening and closing the sphere faster or more slowly. Kids can also participate by inhaling as they pull it open to full size and then exhaling slowly as they refold it. This can be a shared calming activity by having a child hold one side of the Hoberman sphere while the adult holds the other side. Pacing the rhythm together can bring both people in sync, a coregulating activity for the nervous system.
Touch:
Our skin is our body’s largest organ and receives lots of direct sensory input. Our muscles and joints also receive sensory input. Deep pressure, specifically, can feel quite calming and grounding as blood pressure and our stress hormone cortisol are reduced. Simultaneously, with increased proprioception, our love hormone – oxytocin – increases. Weighted blankets offer support for decreasing anxiety and have an organizing effect on the nervous system. Weighted shoulder wraps and lap pads can also do the trick to soothe motor restlessness. And manimo weighted animals are always a family favourite!
Smell:
One of the simplest ways to feel grounded is through aromatherapy. Breathing deeply to inhale soothing scents is a biological bonus! By taking deep breaths in and out, our kids are increasing oxygen flow throughout the body. The nervous system receives the message that it is ok to feel calm. Why not have kids engage in mindful colouring using scented markers to bring attention to their senses?
Taste:
Taste is powerful and, similar to smell, it is often associated with strong memories. There are many ways that mindful eating can be calming. We’ll focus on the benefits of chewing here, as it offers lots of proprioceptive input. Research has shown that people who chew gum, for example, have reduced cortisol levels and feel less anxious (Scholey, 2008).
Sound:
Soothing sounds have the power to actually alter our brain waves and calm us. Our kids can enjoy a variety of relaxing music to wind down, or they can use a simple rainmaker that offers auditory and visual stimulation. Students love to watch as the colourful plastic pellets roll down the rain stick. Enhance their sensory awareness by having them close their eyes and listen to the sounds – closer to their ear then further away.
Our five senses can be such a powerful tool! A focus on each of them can help us pause rumination and worry by shifting attention to what’s around us. This can help kids feel soothed, reconnected to their body, and less stressed.
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