What if we tried to be a little less emotional? We love them and we want the best for our children, that’s normal! You can be proud of them or worried about them, but you shouldn’t let them know that you’re disappointed in them. Let’s remember that their report card is not our evaluation of whether or not we are a good parent, but a picture of their school progress. So the report card arrives at home. What do we do?
I’m Jessica Rousseau, aka MamanÉducatrucs, special education technician and family coach. Here are some tips to better welcome your child when the report card arrives.
Some friendly reminders
Each child has his own way of learning, and many factors can influence his pace (like age and brain maturity!).
There are many forms of intelligence (auditory, visual, kinesthetic) and many ways to communicate (written and verbal, for example).
Your child may have a hard time reading, but he is hard to pin down in an oral presentation. He solves math problems in his head, but his handwriting is so unreadable that he always loses a lot of points on the exam.
He solves mathematical problems in his head with flying colours, but his handwriting is so illegible that he always loses a lot of marks on the exam.
It is important to keep in mind that although the report card is important, it does not reflect everything about our child.
Reading the report card should consider your child specifically.
Ask him questions
Before acting, focus on your child’s feelings about HIS report card. Listen to him, stay open to their explanations and ask them some questions.
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What do you think?
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What do you think is your greatest achievement?
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What do you find most difficult?
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Do you want to set a goal?
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Can I help you?
Be positive
When it’s time for the verdict, we start with congratulations. The focus is on the best results, obvious progress and good comments.
Putting it into perspective
I see that this seems more difficult, that’s okay, we’ll work a little more on that. What is difficult for you? Would doing some exercises together help? Using a math application on the tablet from time to time, would that encourage you to put a little more time into it?
On the other hand, wow, this is excellent! You were worried, remember? Congratulations! Not only is your result great, but you’ve improved even more. Congratulations! Your efforts have paid off. It’s all thanks to you.
Highlight the skill set, not just the results
Your teachers appreciate your involvement in the classroom. You’re always willing to help and you participate enthusiastically in projects! You also have great relationships with others, and that makes you a great friend.
Prioritize the value of effort, perseverance and progress
The most important thing is the investment that the child puts into it. If he has difficulties, but wants to succeed, that is an achievement in itself.
We recognize his efforts and the fact that he continues his good work even if it is more difficult.
They are shown the progress they have made. Remember that the notion of success varies from child to child. Let’s avoid comparing him to his siblings, the kid next door or the rest of the class.
Dedramatise
I can see that this is important for you. But, you are learning. Sometimes you make mistakes and that’s okay. You’ll get it right. I will help you, and your teacher is there for you.
Make school important
Most kids take school seriously. But, for some reason, it’s not important for others.
A little pep talk is needed!
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Identify the reasons for his behaviour.
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Find sources of motivation.
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Give meaning to school (what is it for?).
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Clarify expectations.
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Reorganize rules (lesson supervision, study time, etc.).
Reward
The child needs to be encouraged by your affection and words of encouragement.
You can reward him from time to time with an outing to a restaurant or other privilege.
On a daily basis, it is interesting for some children to have a point system to recognize their efforts and good behaviour.
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