Mathieu doesn’t like to do things alone – he is afraid of failing; so, he asks his parents for help with most of his daily life activities (getting dressed, making his lunch). When it comes time to construct games or drawings, he imitates what others are doing. He develops very few new ideas on his own.
What is self-esteem?
Having good self-esteem is knowing that you have value as a person, and it’s also having a positive self-image. It isn’t being good in all areas, but rather knowing what capacities one has and also, in which areas one has challenges and limits. As you read these lines, you might be thinking to yourself that it sounds a lot like knowing yourself! And you aren’t wrong at all!
The 4 principles of self-esteem
Self-esteem is built on 4 well-defined principles:
1. Self-knowledge: your interests, strengths, limits, capacities. Etc.
2. Sense of trust and security: due to the environment and people around the child.
3. Sense of belonging to a group: that’s why social networking and friends are so important!
4. Sense of competence: feeling that you’re able to perform various tasks in several areas.
As an adult, how can you help children and adolescents to develop their self-esteem?
Here are a variety of tips to help children develop their self-confidence! Self-esteem is built up over years and can also vary over time, depending on events and different stages of life.
• Meeting an infant’s basic needs, comforting them, and addressing crying, helps develop a secure attachment bond with the child.
• By setting limits and a clear framework, children know what they can and can’t do. This decreases ambiguity and reassures the child.
• By naming the qualities and talents of the child.
• By encouraging them to overcome small and big difficulties.
• By asking them what they like or dislike, what they like most about their day at daycare or school, etc.
• By avoiding negative and degrading comments (e.g. “You’re so slow!” “You always mess up!”). These comment lead children to perceive themselves as not as good as others.
• By helping them develop their social skills (sharing, resolving conflicts, etc.) and by leaving them space for friendships.
• By not doing it for them, but rather by helping and guiding them through more difficult tasks.
Step by step, the child will develop great and positive self-esteem!
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